Little Women, Big Lessons

I first read Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women" back when I was about 10 years old. I remember loving it and holding onto the vivid images it produced in my mind of what a strong and healthy family is and longing to have that in my own life someday. I identified most with Beth and Jo. At 10, I had Jo's fiery spirit, but it was so buried by self-consciousness that I never had her boldness, and I ended up acting more like Beth. And I remember wanting so badly to really be like Beth...to be simple, to just want to clean house, mend socks, bake bread and not have any larger illusions of grandeur to discontent my spirit. If you're familiar with this story, I'm sure you can imagine the frustration a person would feel if they had the spirit of Jo but the mind and body of Beth.

Usually, when I love a book, I read it a few times, and I especially did this when I was a kid. But once done with Little Women, I set it aside and didn't pick it up again. I didn't read any of Alcott's work again until college when I took a 19th Century American Women Writer's class, and we studied her life and other works. I gained an understanding of what influenced her writing and perspective - of course, the circumstances of whatever era a person is living in will influence them, but Alcott was also influenced by her parents' perpetual strivings towards the establishment of a better society and a better life based on God's design of how we humans can best live in harmony with each other. They proudly practiced transcendentalism, a popular German philosophy at the time (Emerson and Thoreau were famous transcendentalists of the time) that said that righteousness comes from transcending the physical and empirical institutions of society and religious doctrine and relying on God's use of our own intuition to guide us through life. Her essay, Transcendental Wild Oats, is a hilarious account of her parents' attempt at communal life with a group of like-minded professors and philosophers. Alcott describes how these high thinkers whose fingers had never dug soil or baked their own bread, failed miserably at producing their own food, and building their own homes, not to mention that not a day of the much sought after harmonious living with each other ever happened. She illustrated the old adage that those who cannot do, teach.

A few weeks ago, 12 years after college, (not to mention a marriage and couple of kids later), I picked up a tattered paperback copy of Little Women at Half Priced Books with a horrible 70's style illustration on the cover of whom I think is supposed to be Jo except she has a ton of make-up on, a la Farrah Fawcet, and her dress looks more like a Loretta Lynn stage prop than something that the Jo I loved and knew would wear. I finally got past cringing at the cover and started reading it this week.

Reading Little Women at age 35 has been quite a different experience than reading it at age 10, and I am realizing that perhaps God had a hand in me reading this particular book at this particular time. After all, what else could explain me buying such any book with such a hideous cover?

(I had to take a picture of the book with my Mac's photo booth app because apparently its such a horrible cover that there is not even a record of it's existence online)

When years of young adult angst got overshadowed and buried in priority by unplanned parenthood, I scrambled to formulate a plan of how in the world I could ever be a good mother. I read all the books, changed my life completely to best provide for their spiritual, physical, and emotional health, and most of all, have loved them tremendously. But no matter what I've done, I've felt like a perpetual failure...like there's always more I could be doing, or better choices I could have made, on and on and on 'till I start to question God's plan of making me a mother and thinking that these poor kids would be so much better off with someone else. The other night, I was wallowing in one of these trains of thought and expressed it to Scott, which I don't usually do. I think these thoughts so often and don't want to bring him down or discourage him. But for some reason, I was compelled to be honest...to just let it all spill out. He immediately pointed out to me that everything I said was nonsense and that those thoughts were nothing but whispers from Satan who wants me to hate myself and would love nothing more than for me to abandon my family and dive into the oblivion of selfishness and worldly indulgence. Then the next day, I read this passage in Little Women. It's the part where Marmee, in an effort to help Jo learn how to cope with her emotions after she allowed her anger to overtake her and cause Amy harm, allows herself to be transparent to her daughter by describing her lifelong struggle with her temper. She described what I have felt so many times - the immense frustration over worldly institutions, such as our economy, dictating the state of her children's lives and limiting the opportunities that the world has to offer. Jo asks her how in the world she has managed to pull off her merry and gracious attitude, and Marmee answers with:

My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning and may be many, but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust Him, the nearer you will feel to Him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of lifelong peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows, as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother.

The story continues with:

Jo's only answer was to hold her mother close, and in the silence that followed the sincerest prayer she had ever prayed left her heart without words; for in the sad yet happy hour, she had learned not only the bitterness of remorse and despair, but the sweetness of self-denial and self-control; and led by her mother's hand, she had drawn nearer to the Friend who welcomes every child with a love stronger than that of any father, tenderer than that of any mother.

I think I was pretty much sobbing by time I got to the last sentence. I was reminded of my own mother, and most of the time, I push all thoughts of her away and focus only on my new life that began first in Christ and then has been lived out with my own marriage and family. But this time, I allowed the Holy Spirit within me to guide my thoughts, trusting that God had brought her to my mind for a reason, and I quieted my own will and allowed His to take over. Suddenly, I felt empathy for my own mother. I realized that she was so much like me, wanting so much for her children and not having the resources to provide anything. Sadly, she did allow Satan's whispers to overcome her and drag her so far down that she committed the ultimate act of selfishness and left this world by her own hand. And then I realized with overwhelming relief what a gift God has given me in my family! As much as I fought and struggled against the circumstances He placed before me, the truth is, God placed a servant of his, Scott, in my life so that He could speak to me when I'm too weak to listen to that Holy Spirit within me. He very purposefully placed my children here to keep me working and striving for goodness, to keep me getting out of bed no matter how deep in the mire my mind may be, and to also use them as vessels to show me His love.

So, here I am, reminded of who I am in God's eyes, all because He used Alcott's beautiful story of four sisters and their wise Marmee to remind me of His purpose and plan for me. Today, despite the worrisome state of the world, our finances, and every other trouble that my mind can conjure up, I am happy. And I am so thankful that God has given me a chance to raise up my own children with the knowledge of His purpose and with the peace and comfort that can only come from feeling His love. He gave me (me!) the chance to start a legacy of triumph rather than defeat, of lifelong peace rather than suffering, with my own family. Thank you, Heavenly Father!

It's Official...I'm a Homeschool Mom.

First, I'd like to dispel one myth about homeschool moms...I do not wear "mom jeans" nor do I own any sort of romper-esque piece of clothing. I wear make-up, I like hip clothes (though I'm currently too fat for most what I like), and I LOVE shoes and getting my hair done. I listen to good music (no CCM crap in my abode), and I watch good movies and HBO shows whether they are R rated or not.

Now that that's out of the way...

As most of my friends and family know, we have agonized over so many options for schooling for our kids. Having had a HORRIBLE experience in the Tennessee public school system, I knew before I had kids that I wanted to do something different with my kids. So, one of the many points of stress when we had children before we were ready was figuring out how we would pay for this "something different" because anything outside the public school system involves money. Homeschooling is something I always had a passion for - a passion that began when I was 13 and babysat for the only healthy, well-functional (as opposed to dysfunctional) family I had ever encountered. The mom homeschooled and had the sweetest and smartest kids I had ever seen and she was one of the happiest people I had ever met. So, that was always in the back of my mind as the thing I would do, but when you have kids when you can't afford to shelter and feed them on one salary, then, Mommy has to go to work, and that's the boat we were in.

First Holloway went to a private school that we were fortunate enough to have mostly paid for - first because the school picked Holloway's kinder year to experiment with giving 100% tuition assistance, and we qualified, so that was that. Sadly they had to ax that program because it killed their budget, but he still got to attend 1st grade due to a miracle gift from an anonymous donor. Then, we decided to give public school a try since I still had to work, and we just had no other option. We sold our house in Pflugerville just to move into one of the best school districts in Texas, and rented a house right across the street from one of the best schools in this district. We are coming the end of Holloway's first year there, 2nd grade, and it has been a sad and disappointing experience. I went in expecting to deal with ridiculous bureaucracy, humanist/secular brainwashing that we would have to fix at home, and of course, larger classrooms and just more chaos in general. I knew that would be part of the deal. What I didn't expect is how much the change in curriculum and teaching methods would adversely affect Holloway.

He began his education with the classical curriculum taught at HCCSA, and he did really well. I won't go into what exactly a classical curriculum involves and how it is different from what public schools do (you can google it), but I'll just say that it is a great approach to learning that is based on how people have been learning for the hundreds of years before the 1990's when the powers that be decided that creativity and being happy are not only the most important factors in educating a child, but can only be attained through a chaotic mess of random information and rewards for hollow non-accomplishments.

As we come to the close of 2nd grade, his first year in a non-classical setting in our local public school, Holloway doesn't enjoy school anymore for many reasons. One is that he's totally bored and unchallenged - for example, his spelling words at the end of 1st grade included integrity and exposition...last week, here at the end of second grade, his spelling words were: great, tell, men, say, and small. He has actually regressed in his critical thinking skills, and as an added bonus, feels horrible about himself because he's been criticized all year for not being "creative and original" enough. He now believes that since he can't draw very well, then he's not smart. Seriously people, this kid read the first Harry Potter book during the summer before 2nd grade, yet he has a B in 2nd grade reading because his illustrations aren't "creative and original" enough for the public school demi-gods. Yes, they literally list "creative and original" as a criteria for grading on their rubric for all reading and writing assignments. So, a 2nd grade boy is expected to read something, then draw a picture of what he read, AND include "original" details that would "add" to the story. So, if he's not "creative" enough in his drawing and can't come up with a way to draw something that actually adds something that wasn't in the story, then his grade is lowered. Just writing this out is making me fume. The majority of 2nd grade brains (especially boys' brains) aren't capable of this!!! Yes, I know there are exceptions, but most kids shouldn't be expected to do this - if they can do it, great, if they can't, they shouldn't be penalized for it.

In the classical model, there are 3 stages in a child's learning experience...the school of grammar, the school of logic, and the school of rhetoric. The grammar stage is K-4. I'm reading this wonderful book called The Well-Trained Mind by Jessie Wise and Susan Wise Bauer, and it's about how to do a classical curriculum at home. They describe the grammar stage child as a sponge who is taking in information - soaking it up - that's why memorization of facts is really easy for kids this age and they find it really fun to memorize a bunch of stuff and then spout it off. Processing and using what they've memorized comes in stages. And if they've filled their little spongy selves with all kinds of facts and information, then when their brains are ready for being creative and original, they will be highly creative and original. However, if you try to force a young child to be creative and original before they have a knowledge base of information and experience to draw from, it's like trying to get water out of a dry sponge. Here's a passage I just read the other day from this book on the topic of forcing kids to be creative during the grammar stage:

"Although you should encourage any creative impulses, we don't think you should require the child to be creative during the grammar stage of education. He's still absorbing and taking in. If he's naturally creative, fine. If not, demanding creativity will only be counterproductive."

So, we've decided that the public school educational system is not for us. And we can't afford private school. And I'm now home, and I'm only caring for 2 babies in addition to my own 2 kids, so it's just like I have a bigger family. (I know home school families with 5 or 6 kids - more than mine plus the ones I'm caring for). I've been doing school with Bren regularly, and it's been great...not stressful at all and all of the kids enjoy our school time. So, naturally, homeschooling has surfaced as the best option for us. And I'm really excited about it. I've found some great materials to use and I'm so lucky to already have friends who home school whom I can get advice from. Most of all, I'm really looking forward to seeing Holloway thrive again...to become reacquainted with the love of learning that he used to have.

Gratitude

Inspired by my friend, Sarah's, blog, I'm going to write about what I'm grateful for today, rather than complain about whatever annoying habits or quirks my kids are driving me crazy with today.

Today, I'm grateful for:

• My sweet, hard-working husband, Scott.
• My loving children
• The home that we get to live in for right now - it's way more awesome than we can afford!
• The income I am making for taking care of two sweet babies whom I am totally in love with!
• The sweet parents of the two sweet babies whom I care for who trust me with their little precious girls.
• Incredible, generous, and loving friends.
• An encouraging and sincere church family
• Food on the table
• Clothes on our backs

What more could a person ask for? We are blessed beyond belief.

Oh what to do...

So, we all know that every child is different and has their own set of unique challenges. And I know that God will often put people in your life to help mold you...t0 refine those character defects that we all possess into better reflections of who God sees us to be. Well, God is using one of my children to help me be more empathetic and compassionate toward those who are different than me. And I've been in the fire quite a bit lately and am frankly getting a bit exhausted.

I love my son dearly, but there are days when I look at him and wonder where in the world he came from. Ever since he entered toddlerhood, I have been continually experiencing a vast spectrum of emotions when learning about his likes and dislikes, watching how he solves problems, and watching him interact with people. That range spans across being surprised, disappointed, confused - sometimes full of awe and admiration and sometimes full of shame and regret.

To give a light hearted example, Holloway's taste in movies, toys, and tv just leave me dumbfounded at times. I actually have an eight-year-old boy who refuses to watch Star Wars, Spiderman, Batman, Chronicles of Narnia, Indiana Jones, and pretty much everything else that is super exciting and fun. He, at least, likes comedy, so we can enjoy a few things together, but anyone looking in from the outside on our family on a Sunday night as we try to agree on a movie to watch together would walk away completely dazed and confused after seeing our sweet little three-year-old princess begging us to watch Star Wars, and then us, in turn, begging our eight-year-old to at least give it a try. I just never, in my wildest dreams, when I was pregnant with my son, imagined that in eight years I would be saying something like, "Come on! Plllleeeeaaase try to watch Star Wars! It is so awesome!" And yes, sometimes we do just turn something like that on anyway, claiming that the majority rules and that he'll just have to go read in his room if he doesn't like it. But family movie night is supposed to involve ALL of us, so at least once a week, we have to ALL agree on what to watch. But on the flip side, I can't even describe the happiness I feel when he is so excited about learning his verses for AWANA or when I see him reading his bible in his room after being given the task of finding something to do other than watch tv or play his DS. He also really enjoys things that I was never exposed to like team sports...he just loves basketball and soccer season. I, on the other hand, can't wait for those seasons to end so that we can have our Saturday mornings free again, and I don't have to sit and wait and entertain Bren during practices. So, we're just on completely different wavelengths, and though I know it's good for me...I KNOW that I NEED to be more patient and not as selfish - it's exhausting and is about to drive me crazy.

On a different level, Holloway always throws me for a loop when interacting with people - sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. The good way is his ability to make friends. I have always been impressed with Holloway's ability to make friends and talk to anyone. If there's a kid around, he'll find some way to play with them. Boy was I the opposite when I was little. If I was at a playground, I would go as far away from the other kids as I could possibly get...totally afraid of rejection and being made fun of and just wanting to escape into my own little world of fantasy and play. I remember being in awe watching Holloway just go right up to kids on the playground when he was little and asking them to play and then he'd have new friends by the time we left. That is so awesome. But then I turn around and an hour later we're at someone's home, and he's got the gall to complain about the food they serve him, or he runs into a kid from school who is excited to see him and he doesn't even respond when they say hi, or I catch him criticizing and correcting his friends over every little thing that comes out of their mouths. There have been times in the last year when I have considered just not letting him back out into the general public until he gets this part of himself straightened out. I mean, he can be SO obnoxious and rude and I just don't know where he got this from. Now he's not all bad...if he were then he wouldn't have been able to keep any of these friends that he's made. One thing I see him doing that always makes me proud is that he always lets the other kid choose what to do, even when we sometimes have a kid over who never lets him choose. It frustrates him, but he truly takes the golden rule to heart. There's one kid, in particular, who, when he comes over, is pretty bossy and pretty much dictates what they are going to do the whole time. I've pulled Holloway aside and told him, "don't let him boss you around like that....if you want to do something different, then tell him it's your turn to choose." And he always just takes it in stride and says something like, "Oh it's ok, I know that I need to show him grace." Yes, he has actually said this before! And it just blew my mind because I had no idea how to show another kid grace when I was little. If someone did me wrong, they were erased from my board...they might as well have not existed. So, his ability to forgive and show grace just astounds me...and I know that God is using that to help me in my life right now...and I thank Him for that.

So all in all, I guess it balances out. I have an inability to show grace sometimes, and sometimes, he is completely unable to not complain about food or to respond to people when they say hi. But that doesn't mean that we have to settle for these character defects and just accept them as reality. We need to be continually working to better ourselves and not allow such behaviors to effect our relationships and cause damage. So...I guess that's why God made Holloway my son and vice versa. We both need each other.

Insomnia, sooo...time for updates

So what do you do when you wake up hacking from allergies and you can't breathe and can't sleep? Well, I did the obvious first...checked email, checked FB, read my favorite news sites. So, now, it's time to write.

First, updates are in order.

Nazi-parenting status update - We are getting excellent results. Though there have been a few tears and some frustrating moments, Holloway has turned back into the kid that we've always enjoyed being around. Of course, training never ends. We had about 3 days of uninterrupted great behavior, and the other morning, I was thrown for a loop when I put a plate of food in front of him, and he blurted out, "is that all?" without thinking. Well, that little moment of selfishness and ungratefulness cost him a day of no screen time - no tv, no DS, no Wii, no computer, etc. And I think we've had about 48 hours of great behavior since then. But what's really cool is the change I'm seeing in the independent decisions he's making. He's not just following our rules, he's actually processing the "why" behind the rules and is making some cool decisions on his own. For instance, he noticed yesterday how crappy I've been feeling because of allergies, and he said something like "I'm so sorry you don't feel good," and he just got up and started cleaning up the toys from the living room floor and putting away all of the baby stuff after the babies got picked up. After the initial shock wore off, I was almost in tears over how proud I was at his display of selflessness.

Speaking of daycare - here's a status update on that. To respect the privacy of the kids I care for, I won't discuss specifics about them, other than to say that I am blessed with sweet babies to care for and great parents to work with. But, what I can and do want to write about is the impact it's had on our family. I can't even count the number of times every day that I am thankful for making this decision. Bren is so happy at home, and I am so happy with what she is learning by watching me care for babies. She LOVES these babies like they are her little sisters and brother, and what's really cool is that I have an opportunity to show her how precious babies are and how God wants us to love them and nurture them - an opportunity I wouldn't otherwise often have since she is the youngest child in the family. She's already playing more with her baby dolls (which she was never super interested in) - pretending to give them bottles and change their diapers. There's a new doll being peddled on all of the kids' channels called the Little Mommy Wipey Dipey Doll that she really wants for her birthday...hopefully grandma and papa will read this since we already got her her bday present. ;)

And Holloway is getting a review in all of this too when he comes home from school. He got a huge dose of all of this when Bren was born and he was 4, and I cared for 2 other little babies and a toddler in addition to Bren. I get lots of proud mommy moments when he walks in from school and sees the babies playing or sees me feeding one a bottle and he says, "aww...she's so cute."

I hope a good future daddy is in development here.

And for me, well, life is much more simple now, and I get to do things that I enjoy doing and am pretty good at, which is exactly what I was shooting for. After being out of a corporate work environment for a couple of weeks now, it's even more obvious to me that I am just not wired for that stuff. I'm not administrative, I'm not good at hiding what I really think and feel...it's just not a world where I can succeed. What I am good at is taking care of babies, teaching my kids, and cooking, and I'm getting to do a lot of that.

Oh, and I get to go to church where I want to now, which is super cool. One thing that I can now freely say about church staff structures is that I do not think it's a good policy to force all of the staff to worship at the same church. For some staff, it's necessary - for worship staff, for the pastors, etc. But for the administrative people like me, it's not necessary. And especially for the financial people and the HR people, I think it's actually healthier for them to NOT worship at the church they work for. When you're in those roles, it's just too much of a conflict and it's harder to compartmentalize work from worship. So, anyway, there's my two cents on that topic.

Ok, I think I've rambled long enough. Now for phase 3 of insomnia...mindless television. Actually, what I want to watch isn't so mindless...it's a documentary called Loose Change. Very interesting.

Nazi Parenting - Week One

So my kids' lives, mainly Holloway's, have been turned upside down this week, all completely and entirely on purpose, as a result of our eyes being opening to some hard truth.

Isn't there some kind of saying that the parents are always the last to know? Well, I never thought that would be me, but I was definitely the blind parent this time. I had to experience something on Friday that no parent ever wants to experience...after my child spent 2 days with another family over Spring Break, I was kindly told that he was obnoxious, selfish, ungrateful, and annoying to be around. Now, our sweet friends who informed us of his behavior did so in LOVE - they were gracious, they were forgiving, and they were full of love for us as friends and love for Holloway as a budding little human who just needs some training. Once it sunk in exactly what he had done, I am in awe of these friends for just how gracious they were. If I had a child in my home who acted the way that Holloway did, and that child did not belong to me, that child would be on the next wagon home within about 5 mins. But my friends put up with it...for TWO days. And they not only put up with it....they took it on as their God-given responsibility as our friends to help him. To speak truth to him. The other kids in the family showed him by example how he was wrong. Now, unfortunately, he didn't get it until my husband and I spelled it out to him, but at least he finally got it.

I experienced a real roller coaster of emotions for the first 24 hours or so after hearing this hard truth. Guilt and shame were the co-stars of my little emotional fit. Guilt over not nipping this behavior in the bud. Shame and guilt over failing my son by not nipping this behavior in the bud and causing him to possibly lose a friend whom he loves. But after I processed it all, prayed and asking God for guidance, I woke up the next morning renewed - in a rare parenting moment, I felt 100% certain in what I had to do...full-on Nazi parenting. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." I've always loved that verse, but I realized that I completely neglected to do the very thing that it says to do. TRAIN up the child! So, Holloway is now in training for gratefulness, consideration, selflessness, compassion, and humility. We began the character defect boot camp 3 days ago, and so far it's working.

It's so funny...once a plan of action was in place, I sat down with Holloway to inform him of how life would be from now on...and as I was saying things like "you will eat what's put in front of you or not eat at all" and "you will respond and look people in the eye when they speak to you" I realized how neglectful I have been in training up my child! Yes, we've talked about these things before, I point out how he should be doing these things when he neglects to do them, but I've never been super serious about enforcing the behaviors by setting consequences, and the result is that he went out into the world and was a little jerk! So, now there are consequences, and he has suffered them, and wow, what a difference I am seeing after only 3 days!

I know I'm not home free...I know there will always be trials. But I am so comforted in the confidence I feel now in training up my child in the way he should go, and that direction and confidence came from only one source...God's unfaltering truth. It's all there...we have an instruction manual for raising our kids (among many other things), and all we have to do is APPLY the truth that's there.

I'm so thankful for the loving friends that God put in my life, and for their faithfulness in allowing Him to work through them to help me and my family. Most of all, I'm so thankful for His Word that tells us exactly what to do. Now I just have to remember to READ it and USE it!

In the Mood

So, I've got a writing bug this morning, and though I didn't open up this new post with any specific topic in mine, I just need to write. It's such a great way to start the day.

Rituals have been on my mind lately. I've realized how very important daily rituals are to my mental and emotional well being. I'm sure it's some deep seated need for security rooted in childhood trauma, but whatever the reason, I need rituals, and I'm not a happy mommy, wife, or person in general if I don't get to do a few key things before I start my day.

When I was working outside the home (just 2 short weeks ago), I had a ritual that began once I got to work...I got my laptop set up, I got my coffee, I ate my breakfast, and I read the fun emails first. Then I could work and be productive. I did that every morning for 3 years. And when something happened that messed that ritual up, my day just was not the same. It might have still been a good day, but it was off and I would end up feeling unsettled all day.

Since this huge change of being home and caring for babies and my own children, I've been trying to figure out what I need to do to get grounded every morning. I would love to say that every morning begins with a quiet time of reading scripture and meditation, but it's not. Sometimes it includes that, but those things aren't the crux of my ritual. I have finally landed on just two key things that I must have before I have to speak to anyone or do anything productive.

One...I must have at least 3 cups of coffee (preferably more), and I have a fun new ritual of drinking it out of a sweet cup and saucer from my grandmother's china set. There's just nothing like coffee or tea from a china cup. If you haven't experienced it, give it a try. I can't explain it...it's just some cosmic collision of rightness that comes together and makes the coffee drinking experience more than just a necessity. Usually, my focus on drinking coffee was just "get it in me now." I needed to get a few cups down and I was good - that's all I cared about. But now there's another layer with using this petite, delicate little cup and saucer set. For one, a new phenomenon has occurred...I'm drinking my coffee black now which I've never done. I noticed when I poured it into this cup that it was a different color - it was a pretty brownish black, not tar black, and it actually looked inviting. So I didn't ladle the usual vanilla creamer in, and I just went for it, and it was good. It was really good. So, now I'm drinking black coffee. And they way the cup feels against my lips is a very important part of why this cup is special. The rim is so thin and I can easily take just a sip rather than a gulp like I would from a typical modern day mug. It's simple and somehow less of an act of gluttony like my coffee drinking has been for the last several years since it became a necessity in my life rather than a once in a while thing. And I think, at the deepest level, drinking out of this cup reminds me of when I was a little girl and would watch my grandmother drink out of her china cup and saucer...she had a ritual too. She sat at her kitchen table, drinker her coffee...actually pouring it into the saucer to cool it off and then drinking it out of the saucer (this is a habit I don't think I'm going to take up), and read the paper. Which brings me to part 2 of my ritual, and it's very simple and is a representation of the modern times we live in. I get my screen time fix. I get on the computer, check my all-important facebook page for any messages or updates, check my email, and read the news. And sometimes I write, like I'm doing now.

Now I feel better...this was a good reminder that when you get the writing bug, there's got to be something to write about. Even if it's something as simple as a cup and saucer.