35 going on 15

I realized recently that I'm still very much a kid at heart. Sometimes this is good and sometimes it's bad. We'll start with the bad first and get it out of the way:

For me, the biggest downside to being a kid at heart is that I can be very selfish sometimes which manifests itself in many ways such as:

1. Not being a good listener and interrupting people when they're talking because I'm so excited about what I'VE got to say (interestingly, this is something my 3-yr-old routinely does. Maybe I should title this 35 going on 3?)
2. Thinking that my way is always the best way (hmm...another 3-yr-old trait)
3. When someone points out flaws in my ideas, my default is to get my feathers ruffled and start to defend my idea. (yep, i'm a 3-yr-old)

These are bad, childish behaviors that I'm aware of (admitting you have a problem is the first step!), and I do try hard to identify these "default" behaviors when they rear their ugly little beastie heads and remember what I should do instead. I'm not always perfect, but at least I'm trying.

Now to the fun stuff about being a kid at heart:

The most fun thing about being a kid at heart is embracing spontaneity! Being able to do this requires a good dose of mellow and a helping or two of laid back. Many adults have lost these personality traits due to the stress and strain of this crazy life in the flesh. I know at one point I had lost them. I was constantly tied up in a knot, worrying about what disasters the future held rather that what opportunities might lay ahead. But then, I hit a bottom of sorts, and when you hit bottom, there's no where to go but up, so I figured that I might as well enjoy and appreciate each day and the blessings that each day brings and leave the stress and strain part behind at the bottom.

Since doing that, I realized that I am kind of getting to be a kid! And since I didn't have the opportunity to be a kid when I actually was a kid, this is pretty cool. When something fun to do comes up, I look at how I can make it happen rather than at all of the obstacles. I get to feel that giddy freedom of, "oh, this is going to be FUN!" rather the worry over every little detail and wasting energy on trying to control or manipulate the imaginary outcomes of all of the "what ifs?" that pop into my mind. Now, some adults might consider those worries as the necessities of responsibility, discipline, and good planning. I just consider them a pain in the ass. As Matthew 6:34 says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Given that we all have our faults, I am happy to continue to work on the selfish part of being a kid at heart and enjoy all of the benefits of looking at life every day with the bright and hopeful perspective afforded to many youth rather than trade all of that in for the stress, strain, seriousness, detail oriented, and control freak mindedness of many adults in this crazy world.