Nazi Parenting - Week One

So my kids' lives, mainly Holloway's, have been turned upside down this week, all completely and entirely on purpose, as a result of our eyes being opening to some hard truth.

Isn't there some kind of saying that the parents are always the last to know? Well, I never thought that would be me, but I was definitely the blind parent this time. I had to experience something on Friday that no parent ever wants to experience...after my child spent 2 days with another family over Spring Break, I was kindly told that he was obnoxious, selfish, ungrateful, and annoying to be around. Now, our sweet friends who informed us of his behavior did so in LOVE - they were gracious, they were forgiving, and they were full of love for us as friends and love for Holloway as a budding little human who just needs some training. Once it sunk in exactly what he had done, I am in awe of these friends for just how gracious they were. If I had a child in my home who acted the way that Holloway did, and that child did not belong to me, that child would be on the next wagon home within about 5 mins. But my friends put up with it...for TWO days. And they not only put up with it....they took it on as their God-given responsibility as our friends to help him. To speak truth to him. The other kids in the family showed him by example how he was wrong. Now, unfortunately, he didn't get it until my husband and I spelled it out to him, but at least he finally got it.

I experienced a real roller coaster of emotions for the first 24 hours or so after hearing this hard truth. Guilt and shame were the co-stars of my little emotional fit. Guilt over not nipping this behavior in the bud. Shame and guilt over failing my son by not nipping this behavior in the bud and causing him to possibly lose a friend whom he loves. But after I processed it all, prayed and asking God for guidance, I woke up the next morning renewed - in a rare parenting moment, I felt 100% certain in what I had to do...full-on Nazi parenting. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." I've always loved that verse, but I realized that I completely neglected to do the very thing that it says to do. TRAIN up the child! So, Holloway is now in training for gratefulness, consideration, selflessness, compassion, and humility. We began the character defect boot camp 3 days ago, and so far it's working.

It's so funny...once a plan of action was in place, I sat down with Holloway to inform him of how life would be from now on...and as I was saying things like "you will eat what's put in front of you or not eat at all" and "you will respond and look people in the eye when they speak to you" I realized how neglectful I have been in training up my child! Yes, we've talked about these things before, I point out how he should be doing these things when he neglects to do them, but I've never been super serious about enforcing the behaviors by setting consequences, and the result is that he went out into the world and was a little jerk! So, now there are consequences, and he has suffered them, and wow, what a difference I am seeing after only 3 days!

I know I'm not home free...I know there will always be trials. But I am so comforted in the confidence I feel now in training up my child in the way he should go, and that direction and confidence came from only one source...God's unfaltering truth. It's all there...we have an instruction manual for raising our kids (among many other things), and all we have to do is APPLY the truth that's there.

I'm so thankful for the loving friends that God put in my life, and for their faithfulness in allowing Him to work through them to help me and my family. Most of all, I'm so thankful for His Word that tells us exactly what to do. Now I just have to remember to READ it and USE it!